It has been a whirlwind weekend. After work on Friday, I went to see my chiropractor, and then to hang out at E's office before we met a friend for dinner. He said we needed to talk, and proceeded to tell me that he had completely changed his mind, and we needed to have a 4some with K & J as soon as humanly possible. Seems they chatted a bit on IM that day and she somehow charmed the pants off of him, literally I suppose!

We had a lovely dinner chatting with an old co-worker of E's. It was nice to catch up with her. She's such a sweet person, and none of us could believe over a year had gone by since we'd seen each other. She had pictures of her son, and he's an enormous 3 year old now!

When we got home I IM'd K for almost 2 hours. It was tricky, since she was high on anti-anxiety meds and some vodka (dumb!), but eventually we got around to what's going on between all of us, and if we were going to meet up or not. Once again, it all rested on J's shoulders. Way too early in the relationship, I admitted to K that I had feelings for J that I shouldn't have, and she *told* him and he freaked out. We haven't had sex since. And a few months after that, we broke up.

Turns out, after all this time, including 6 months of no contact, he is still wary of me. I thought it was "you broke my wife's heart" pissyness. Apparently, it's "you have feelings for me?!" freaked-outedness. *sigh*

I still don't know how it happened, but J relented and we were granted acceptance to the Kingdom of Heaven. Err.... We were asked to come up to Bellingham for some get-reaquainted time.

I knew he was still wary. I told E. that although his dick was throbbing, he'd better fuck me now before we got up there and J's moods decided no one was getting any. So we had some nooky and went to bed.

Next day I was stressing hard that I had somehow forced myself upon them, and after a tense hour where I couldn't get ahold of the girl to apologize, she let me know I was being ridiculous. Whew!

I had this little speech in my head for when I saw J again. I was going to shake his hand and reintroduce myself, "Hi, I'm M. The old M asked me before she left to tell you that she's so sorry for being a judgemental bitch, and she hopes that you can forgive her." And then I'd ask for a hug. Something passive aggressive about that though. Fessing up to it, but not really by putting myself into the 3rd person. He just makes me so nervous. So nervous, in fact, that every time we see each other, we only talk about stupid shit and not of anything of substance. I didn't say anything like that.

We got there and everyone was gone but K. The kids were with their grandparents, and J was at a fire call. It was lovely to see my girl again! She is so adorable. So happy to see me. :)

When Jim finally got back, it was after the 3 of us had spent a good hour or more talking, laughing, snacking, and making out on the bed. I was totally calm until J got home, and then I was a mess of nerves all over again.

J was nice to me. He said hello and called me by my name, which I love. My lovers need to use my name more often. It makes me feel all warm inside.

We talked a little about our new jobs. Just stupid shit, per usual.

And then K had dinner ready, and we all sat down to eat, but J wanted to watch TV, so K got pissy that he wouldn't come to the table, took his meal to him, and proceeded to have dinner with us at the table without him. After dinner, E and I fled to the bedroom as they argued over who was being the most rude. *rolls eyes at married people everywhere*

So E and I are fucking around on their computer and trying not to eavesdrop on their loud argument, when things get quieter, and K starts to sound happier. Then she loudly wishes him a nice shower.

And comes in and begs me to go in there after him with a towel and offer myself up to him.

I almost ran out of that house. There is just no way I can seduce a man who's not into me. I'm shy enough that it's next to impossible to seduce a man that I know is into me. And J was acting completely *not* into me.

K would not let it go. She just wouldn't. Until it seemed that there was no way anyone in the house was getting any sex if I didn't do it, and then I really did almost run out of the house. But then I had an idea. Whew. She would take me in there, and tell J that I was his surprise. That I could do. Because then she could be there when he turned me down and my mortification wouldn't be my own bad sense but hers!

I took many gulps of the MOST FOUL appletini of all time (whoever wrote equal parts gin and apple sour made a good recipe is SHIT FOR BRAINS), and she took me into the bathroom. To my horror, the shower curtain is mostly clear, with a thick band of semi-transparent/semi-matte blue to "try" to hide the naughty parts. Poorly.

I knew he would take one look at me and yell for us to get the fuck out.

He grinned. Then ducked his head like he was going to ignore us and continue soaping.

K did not deliver her line. Instead she turned around and started kissing me. That girl gives the best kisses. Her tongue and lips are so wonderfully soft, I just melt into her. I kind of let myself slide down the door a bit so her head could hide my face from J. I was still so embarrassed, waiting for the shouting to begin.

He never looked back over at us again. Weird.

So K went over, peaked in at him, said something I can't remember, and shortly after that J said pointed at her and said "you are dismissed". My stomach fell to my knees. To my feet. Probably below. I was *not* dismissed. Even though I was only in my bra and panties at this point. I took a moment to console K for being dismissed. We laughed about it, kissed some more, and then she abandoned me.

He was finally looking at me, and said something, god knows what, I can't recall. I was struck dumb, so my memory isn't too good at the words said that evening. I think I was kind of dared into the shower or something, because I was so nervous, I got in right then and there, in my bra and panties.

He has the most incredible smile. It melts me into a puddle. He *knows*. He looks at you with this confident grin that he's going to have his way and you're both going to enjoy yourselves. He told me to take off my underwear, that he wanted to see me. And then he kissed me.

I have never in my life curled my toes until I met J. I wondered what the fuck all these romance writers could be talking about. J delivers toe-curling kisses time and again. He steals my breath, pulls me close, his hands clasping like he needs, and pushing my pelvis against his. There was a small moment of "this is not my husband", but I knew my husband had sent me in there on a mission, and I was going to succeed, dammit. I toe curled and kissed back for all I was worth.

The man touched me almost everywhere. His mouth roamed at will. He moved me around on a whim. K calls it "cave-man". I call it "possessive". The man went down on me without being asked and made my knees weak. I can't recall the last time I felt weak-kneed over anyone. A shower is not a good place to be weak-kneed. Later, he had me hook my foot on the rim and went down there again. He had to ask me if I wanted to touch him, which I felt bad about, but I was so freaking nervous, I was kind of ignoring the enormous prick digging at my stomach. It really is lovely. After he went down on me the 2nd time, he asked if I had liked it, and I told him that I wanted to reciprocate, but not in the tub. My knees are not so good, and to kneel in a tub would have been murder.

Lucky for me, as we got out of the shower, I noticed I was suddenly a foot shorter. I leaned in and gived him a big of a blow job and played with his balls.

The things that come out of his mouth astound me. I don't talk much during sex, if at all. Him and K do a lot. I don't generally call anything by any name. E calls things by their "proper" name. I can't recall if he called his cock a dick or a prick, but he called his testicles nuts, and said he liked "ball work". God, I almost giggled and ruined everything each time he said anything like that. He was just so damned serious, you knew he said that shit all the time, and it would be lame of me to say anything, let alone laugh.

K came in to tell us that her parents would be arriving shortly with the kids, so we needed to button things up until after they had come and gone. They took longer than expected. We had gotten dressed separately, chatted with the others, drank, and still nothing. I found myself in the bathroom fussing with my hair when J walked in and sat on the edge of the tub watch me. He has the strangest sense of humor, and as I was playing with my hair, he tried to point out my nipple, and I shied away from him by about 2 feet. He just makes me so damned nervous.

He tried to do it 2 more times, and each time I repeated the same thing without meaning to. He just looked at me like I was nuts and I blushed for being an idiot. I said I was just shy, and he said that he'd just seen me naked. I shrugged. But I kissed him to make up for it. That I could do for some reason. I told him he smelled good, and he told me he had farted. I cannot BELIEVE the things he says. He made up for it by telling me I smelled good. I told him I couldn't think of why, as I purposely don't wear perfume there for K's sensitive nose, and any smelly hair products would have been washed away in the shower.

He said maybe it was pheremones and I just gawked, wondering if I should throw myself on him then and what would happen if I did. I have a theory that I'm uber-sensitive to pheremones, and that largely explains my attraction to J, whom I wasn't attracted to the first 2-3 hours when I met him, but once we moved to the bedroom that first time, everything changed, and my cunt now has J-radar, letting me know where he is at all times if he's in the house.

I never got to answer. The grandparents arrived. I suddenly realized how bad it would be to be found together in the bathroom, especially since my hair was still all wet. He turned out the lights and went out, mumbling something about waiting to follow.

I stood there in the dark wondering what he had said, and when it would be safe to leave so they wouldn't guess I'd been in there at the same time...

K's parents aren't very observing, because they still don't know their girl's bi, let alone in a "loose" marriage. They didn't notice my hair at all.

Finally they left, the kids were tucked into bed, and E accompanied K next door to get ice for drinks. J and I went to the bedroom and got comfy on the bed. He had that look in his eyes again. And he was positioning me to his liking, spreading my legs and bending them before laying with his hips cradled in mine to devour my mouth. All of our clothes on, and I was so turned on that the house could have caught fire and i wouldn't have noticed.

When the others got back, the 4 of us quickly disrobed. K kept finding things to do in the bathroom, so I began to entertain the boys side by side. It was nice. It would have been nicer if they hadn't made me move from one to the other. So much easier if they had each moved to be touched at the same time, instead of so far away that was impossible. *shrug*

Once K was back, I tried hard not to pair up too quickly. It was E's main complaint of the last 4some. I really tried, but it happened eventually, and I thought enough had gone on that it was an appropriate time, so I let J possess me again.

He is just so damned distracting. His mouth is very demanding. And when I open my eyes and see him watching me with that look, that satisfied smile on his face, I can't look away. His hands... His fingers touch my clit with expertise, but approach my cunt almost casually. And then he's inside, and he still seems... reserved. I can't explain it. *Too* casual. Because what he's doing is anything but. He goes straight for my g-spot, that I don't even know how to find. And I think I'm going to fly apart and explode and implode all at the same time, and he's still just got that look on his face. Like he's enjoying watching but... Like he could be doing something else. He's enjoying it, but not enough. He's... amused by me, but not necessarily turned on by me.

When I go down on him, he finally closes his eyes. It is a mercy. I have always been told I give good head. Actually, the adjectives border upon worshipful. If that damned smile of his had remained, I would have just died. But he finally looked like I was doing something for him other than providing entertainment.

The things he seems to enjoy the most seem to come from my mouth. He tends to moan when I use my mouth almost anywhere. I have a tendency to bite and kiss too hard, I just love the feel of flesh in my mouth. This got me in trouble last time, as I gave him about a dozen hickies. He moaned harder the harder I sucked. Not my fault! This time, no hickies. He quickly pointed it out when I kissed him too hard. Except for his mouth. I was allowed to kiss him as hard as I wanted on his mouth. He tasted amazing. And occassionally, he would shove his tongue so far back and try and suck me out of my skull, clenching me so tight, I would think he might just burst right there, and I can't breathe it's just so damned erotic. So different from that lazy, maddening smile.

He told me at one point he loves my blowjobs. He said, "You're so... passionate about them." I smiled and demonstrated further, telling him that I just really like doing it, but I am afraid I just don't have the stamina to do it enough. He didn't seem to mind. He didn't agree or disagree. He did seem very agreeable to my mouth being on him and my tongue snaking around his testicles. I just can't call them balls or nuts. I just sounds so... crude. Like *cunt* is so refined. I amuse myself sometimes with my inconsistencies.

He finally made me cum. When we've had sex with them, I have not cum. I have cum once when it was just K and M. And E, he has a hit or miss record. Hell, *I* have a hit or miss record when I'm just doing myself. I should have said something though, because he didn't notice. His wife makes lots of noise, and I'm very quiet and my breathing just changes a bit, so no one noticed but me. Both times! hehe

I made him come zero times, which was depressing. I really wanted him to. He wanted to. The condom was giving him problems because he never wears them with his wife as he's "fixed". That was his story anyway, so as to not make me seem a failure. *shrug*

E and I had fun watching him and K go at it later so he could finally get off. It was deliscious to watch him do to her what he'd been doing to me. To know what he looks like from behind. To see his cock in action. Mmmmmm...

For the first time, everyone had an orgasm. We were all happy and content. J smiled a lot.

The thing that I'm getting wrong, is that I wasn't annoyed at his smile when it was happening. It turned me on. I loved that he was watching me and that he enjoyed what he was seeing. It was only later, remembering, that it seemed he was more entertained by the watching, then turned on by the fucking. Which is not true either, because he would often fall on me and kiss me and hold me tight. He just couldn't cum, and kept changing things up. He said at one point he liked to play with me. E and K both like to just get it finished with once the fucking starts. J and I like to go as long as we can. It just feels... divine to have him inside me, even after I've cum, because it feels like any moment, I'll do it all over again.

So I enjoyed the fucking immensely. And I liked his smile. It made me so happy to see him smiling like that at me again. It was so familiar. I was happy that we were somewhere that we could be intimate again and not be at each other's throats.

So later when things had died down, K and E were in the bathroom doing her hair, and J and I were kind of cuddling, J had that smile on his face. But his eyes were closed and he was just laying there. He looked so happy and peaceful and content. I felt so close to him. I felt I should apologize to him, but I didn't want to ruin the mood.

So instead I asked him "So, are we ok now?"

He never opened his eyes. Just smiled a little bigger, grabbed for a pillow, and half-heartedly swatted me with it, and let his arm collapse back on the bed. His eyes still closed, still smiling, he answered, "One day at a time, ok?"

I went kind of cold. I took that to mean he was still mad at me. How the hell could he fuck me and be mad at me? He certainly didn't seem mad at me. He was still smiling.

I asked K about it today via IM. She told me he was never mad at me. That was when I learned that after all this time, he was still freaked out about my "feelings", the ones that don't exist anymore. She told me that what he meant was that we're ok now, and we will be ok, just no professions of love in the future and we'll be good.

Well, if she insists that's what he meant. My interpretation didn't quite jive, and hers doesn't quite either, but hers makes a little more sense now that I know that he was never mad.

But the best part is the part I can't reveal that I know.

I was set up!

It was his idea from the beginning to send me into that bathroom to him. The little fucker! If he had only hinted he was comfortable with me again, invited me to sit next to him or something, sat next to me at dinner as planned instead of on the couch with his tv, I would have been more comfy going into that bathroom alone. Or if someone had told me that that's what he'd asked for. Was it a test? Maybe. I guess that means I passed. I forgive him. I'm certainly shy, so I can get him being shy about it too.

The end result is this: I'm happy. I love my husband, I love my girl, and I'm a bit fond of my girl's husband. I can't wait for it to happen again so we can try out new stuff. And I'm pretty sure everyone else feels the same way.

oxo,
*m*