----Original Message Follows----
From: ~*K*~

m~

Mmmm Hmmm...that's all I gotta say! Yeah baby. I have a hot girlfriend.

Wow there were some interesting things on that CD. Very. :-) Hmmm....I
don't know which is my fave....I have several. I love what you look like
with makeup. OMG....you clean up purty!

And you with bangs? Well...I think those were too short. I bet they would
look really cute a bit longer...but damn girl...you are hot.

You with short hair? I love it. I love you with short straight hair. I
guess because it's different. I dunno. But it looked really pretty.

I also really dig you with medium hair...like in your giant slut photos.
Yeah...oh wow...and you looked soooo yummie.

E is a lucky man. Be sure to remind him of that.

I love the brown outfit. That was a totally hot photo shoot. We should do
one together and E can do the photography. He's pretty good.

Oh...you just signed in! I have to go tell you I love you.

Cuz I do.

~me

- - - My Response - - -

*blushes furiously*

Thank you for all the fabulous compliments. You are so very good to me. I will try not to ruin it by complaining about the way men do not share your enthusiasm.

I know I put some pics on there you already have. I thought it would be nice if you had everything in one place. The amusing part of this is that the whole idea came up so I could share those extra-naughty photos with you, and when I burned the cd, I forgot to put them on! In the middle of the night last night between tosses and turns, I realized I had done this. So that's what I did for the better part of an hour when I got up - ate cereal for breakfast and rebuilt the cd WITH the pictures. And the songs. What good is an mp3 player without music on hand? We'll get you setup with that yet!!!

So, yep, thank you so much for the compliments. I found almost every picture with me in it on my hard drive, which was no easy task. My favorite hair is the cleopatra, either black or deep red, but I don't think it's very flattering without make-up, and since I rarely have the time or energy for make-up, I don't dye my hair anymore. When I become uber rich, you know, when we hit the lottery, I am going to buy a completely goth wardrobe, spend an hour on my makeup every day, and finally get my dream hair. Chin length in the front, shortening to a buzz in the back. Black with cherry red stripes and bangs to match with both colors. I will wear a lot of black and red to emphasize. I will quit my job and just spend my time looking cool like the giant poseur I secretly am.

Thank you for not saying anythiing about my hairy snatch. Although, it did do me some good to sit there and stare at that picture for awhile. I don't think it's ugly at least.

But please, remind me how idiotic, moronic, and totally pathetic it is that I want you to slyly show those brown or las vegas pics to J and then report back any comments he may make? Fuck. When will I learn my lesson? What is wrong with me? I'm serious. I have never wanted someone's approval as much as his, and I don't know *why*. Someone get me a hammer, my head needs fixing.

I was totally serious about being tied up by you guys though. I was thinking about it in bed, and I think the easiest, well on me anyway, way to go about it would be to put a cock in my face before any of the spanking happened. It would distract me and give me something to focus on if I needed it. I would prefer it if you were just supervising so you could watch my face to shout out the instant I freak out, which would mean it would have to be J doing the spanking because E would never ever lay a hand to me even if his life depended on it. Which is a tough scenario for me to imagine. Well, actually, it's a very easy scenario for me to imagine, because I still have the hots for all 3 of you and god I am so hot right now thinking about it.

But for the 4 of us to come together again? To be comfortable on that level again? I don't know if that's ever going to happen. I realized today that I have definitely put aside my emotions of jealousy from finding about J and ****, with the exception of totally looking over **** for any flaw that might signify that *I* am the better lover because I am totally pathetic and a fool. Mostly my feelings for J are nervousness and attraction. I am attracted to him which makes me nervous, because I don't know if he's attracted to me or how you feel about that. I feel disloyal for wanting to fuck him when he's such a shit to you. He is a shit to me, and I can overcome that somehow enough to still be attracted to him. But I feel yucky that I can be attracted to someone that hurts you so badly ever time you breathe.

Anyway, these are the things that have been floating around in the back of my head the past 2 weeks. I am worried sick about you, I am mournful that this life isn't working out for you, and I am hopeful that you will soon be in a place physically and mentally that is healthier and happier for you. But behind all that lurks the selfish me that still worries about her own feelings for J and what they could possibly mean. Because every time I am around him or even think about him, I just baffle myself to no end.

You know what, I am *totally* awake now. FUCK. Crap.

Has anyone ever given you head while you were on the rag? I want to know if it's as nasty as I think it is on a gut level. Because right now, I would like nothing more than to shove you in a shower, rub you down, and then lick you till you're giddy and demanding a good fuck. The shower would take care of most of the blood, right? I hope that doesn't sound gross. For some reason, anything involving you sounds so fucking hot right now. I wish I was up there right now getting tied up in your bed.

Where do you like to be smacked on your ass? There is more cushioning for you, so I'm not sure I would enjoy it the same. Where you did it that time was a place that I normally am overly sensitive because it's where I hurt when I sit too long. Making me think that right where the 2 cheeks meet would be better, but I think that's probably a more sensitive spot because your genitals are close by and could be involved. Hmm.

I like the idea of being dominated for short bursts in the bedroom. I think I might enjoy being tied up and made to give head, but the man/men would have to realize that they need to be very careful with their hands. They can touch and grab me, even grip me and my hair probably as hard as they want, move against my mouth, whatever. But the instant a man uses his hands to push my head forward, instant claustophobia. And if I'm tied up/down, that will already be an issue. So I'm thinking you supervising me, J with a paddle, and E with his cock, because E doesn't generally use his hands much when I give head.

Now I am *super* horny and wide awake. *sigh*

I think I will mention your "confession" to E tomorrow as casually as possible. One question: at the pentultimate moment, is it in your mouth OR on your face depending on your mood at the time, or in your mouth and then you pull out to finish with it on your face? I think it would be easier for E if it was in your mouth, adn then *you* pulled away so it finished on your face, rather than asking him to do it on your face. I know he can do it in your mouth, I'm not sure about on your face, so that may be a way to get both.

If ever you get busy with J again, feel free to mention my scenario to him. I may change my mind tomorrow, you may never have sex with him again, so definitely no promises or expectations. But at the least it might add something to your sex talk.

I love you. I wish we'd gotten that damned hotel room and reeked of chlorine as we slept in each others arms right now.

Love,
M
oxo