The high point I had planned for this weekend had been laundry. I was feeling a little sick on Saturday morning, finally catching E's cold. But the snow during the week had me feeling Christmassy, and I never know what to get him, so I somehow convinced him to go with me to the mall to check out stuff together just for each other. Just gadgets and electronics and no frou frou shit or computer stores.

I did make a side-stop in a shop to pick up a little something for K, so I let E go peruse the book store. I was trying to smell some lotion when I somehow squirted it all over me. I wiped it off my face with my hand, which is where most of it hit anyway. But it smelled *nasty*, so I wasn't about to rub it in. However, I couldn't find anything to wipe it off with. I collected my purchases in one hand and went to the register holding out my gooey hand until it was my turn. And as I walked up, my phone rang. Buried deep in my purse, slung over my shoulders like a little backpack. As I'm trying to ask for something to wipe off my hand, be greeted, put my purchases down, etc.

I finally got out of the store and checked my phone. There was a voice mail from K. Yay! Except, the voice mail wasn't from K. It was from J. Here is what I heard.

"Those are nice pictures."
*pause*
"I like those."
*pause*
"Blah blah blah."
*pause*
"Blah blah."
*pause*
"It's Saturday."
*pause*
"At 1pm."
*pause*
"Talk to you later."
Click.

So, not only does he sound weird and stilted in his talk/pause/talk, but he sounded weird in general. Like he was up to something. Something naughty that he thought was amusing and he knows no one else does. And he didn't say who he was. And I couldn't make out everything he said. And how did he see those pictures that I sent to K of me naked that she told me no way would she subject me to J's critiques and ever show them to him, despite me asking her to. And why did he call and not her. And and and WTF???

Yes, I'm paranoid, I admit it. The second I heard his voice, I thought he was there watching me and was stalking me. For real. My ears started to ring, my hands started to shake, and I couldn't breathe. And then he kept talking all weird and I thought maybe he'd been drinking. And snooping. And found out K has an exit strategy. And had hurt her. And was luring me up there to finish me off too.

Yah, I went there. Fuck off. YOU try living in this head of mine.

In my defense, when I hurried off to have E listen to the message, he thought it was pretty damned weird too. He also could not make out the garbled middle section. And after he had listened and tried to convince me it wasn't as bad as all that and he was leading me to the car because I was finding it hard to breathe, he got a text message on his phone. From K's cell phone. Asking us to come up to fuck them. And then I freaked out even more. That he had hurt her and was texting Eric to lure him up as well.

So when E called and spoke with K and she was all giggly, yep, I felt like a fool.

I later found out that those 2 phrases were: "You should call us." *pause* "Soon."

You don't want to know how quickly my paranoia turned to horniness. You just don't want to know.

I went home and read K's email to me about her morning. About how she was looking at my pics and decided to show them to J anyway, and he didn't say anything. But she was really horny because of *my* pics (grin), so they fucked. And while this was happening, he told her that we should come up so they could tag team her and I could photo. And later it was all about how much fun it had been last time the 4 of us got together. So they each reached out and touched us. Yah.

E didn't think it was a great idea, plus he was sick. I was so psyched at how *happy* she'd sounded on the phone, no way was I going to pass up spending time with my girl when she is *smiling*, but I wanted him to come too because he makes her so happy. J... well, I didn't know what to think at the time.

I convinced him. We went up there with a strict guideline: we would leave at 11:30pm so he could have a good night's sleep because he had to work the next day. And since we would be arriving so late, if there was going to be sex, we should not pussy foot around and just get busy right away so no one was rushed and there was no lure of staying late.

We arrived and within 15 minutes the kids were sent to their room, and K sequestered herself behind closed doors with E. I was left on the couch with J. I would have been annoyed if he hadn't been the one to leave that message on my cell phone, because he was just laying there as I sat on the end by his feet. He was watching his favorite TV show, but then admitted it was a rerun. He was kind of smiling and had mentioned watching me walk around in my skirt, so more points for him even if he was just laying there not doing anything. I can't remember what I said, but he responded that he could "remedy that", making a normal conversation sexual. I got up on my knees and layed down on him and gave him a kiss. He got what he wanted, me to come to him.

I got what I wanted, because he's a fucking brilliant kisser. In fact, on the way there, I was thinking about how the British use the phrase "snog", and how I don't really like it, but how very much I would love a delicious snog with J that night. I had a fucking mind-blowing snog session. Toes curling and everything. He wrapped his legs around my waste, held me tightly, put his hands in my hair, sucked on my tongue hard. He kisses so hard and I *love* every second of it, but the next day the underside of my tongue is sore and swollen from having been scraped against my bottom teeth. Bootcamp Fucker kissed similarly, but it was a constant hoover-action that got annoying fast. J mixes it up, which suits me much better. He licked my teeth, which I could have passed on, but he licked my lips as well, which was very pleasant indeed. If I could just spend the rest of my life snogging J, I would die a happy girl.

Finally we joined our spouses in the bedroom, and they were past snogging and into 2nd and 3rd base territory, which suited me fine. We were soon naked, after K made lots of comments on how cute I looked in my skirt and black tights. She had said she liked the Las Vegas set of naughty pics I sent her, so I wore the same skirt. :)

Once again, we paired up, wife-swapped. E prefers more 4some things, and although he looked quite content with K and didn't seem to be watching me and J this time, I did go over and mix things up with them. And holy crap, J got the hint and followed me over to do things to me and to them.

Lovely, naughty things were done to everyone. This was probably the night of the most 4some time we've had yet. Eventually, we paired back to the wife-swap, which suits me better because once J finds my g-spot, I just want to FUCK. I'm just not very useful for much else once that happens.

In bed, there was only 1 thing that J did to annoy me. When we got the condom on him, he laid back, and I obliged by climbing on top. I was over-eager and took him in more quickly than I should have, but it felt *really* damn good. And when I opened my eyes, instead of him looking at me because it felt fucking fantastic to finally be inside, he was looking at whatever K and E were doing. I was too in the moment to give a shit at the time, but upon later reflection, it upset me more.

After that, everything was great. We fucked in a couple of different positions, watched the others fuck a little, but mostly I was in my own little world with his cock in me. Eventually K and E came, and went off to take a shower together. Right after this, we took a breather so I could have some water (my sore throat got worse and worse during the day, and giving head was really pissing it off). He asks me if I'm going to cum, and I say no, but that's ok, we don't have to stop, and he says ok, but he's not as young as he was and he needs a breather too. And then next thing I know the condom is coming off. WTF?

He did that last time, leaving me to wonder at what he wanted to happen now. Last time, I was really nervous, because I would have liked nothing more than to give him a blowjob until he came, but not in my mouth, and I didn't know how to tell him that, so we just kind of let things fizzle out, and then when K came back inthe room he fucked her without a condom so he could cum. He has problems with condoms, or so he says.

But later, K told me J is trained not to cum in her mouth because she doesn't do it either.

So I gave him a blowjob, and tried to get him to cum, but finally my throat had had enough. He was feeling extra communicative that night, because he asked me what I wanted him to do to me, and I just told him I wanted him to cum. He asked me how. I said he could cum on my tits, and he did. It was very erotic. I'd forgotten how hot cum can be when it hits your skin.

Later, we took our own shower, but we weren't frisky at all, just showered off and talked. But when we came back to the bedroom, E and K were at it again. Holy cow! J put his arms around me, wrapped a blanket around us, and we stood there and watched. Later, they left us alone, and we went at it one more time. And lo and behold, he came while wearing a condom and fucking me. Magic!

It sounds so cut and dry now. I'm not really doing it any justice. I'm kind of tired and not feeling very creative with my language. But FUCK we had a brilliant time.

Almost as much as him fucking me and kissing me, I love his voice. He makes these breathy little groans when I lick him just about anywhere or when I give him head. I used to fantasize about the kisses we had in my bed when he groaned into the back of my throat. There's not much more erotic than the sounds he makes. And what is it with men like tongues in their ears? Neither K or I like it, but E and J both tremble, become short of breath, and moan the farther into their ear I go. I wouldn't do it if it weren't for their amazing responses.

And his voice gets very deep and low when he is talking to me in bed. Sometimes he just whispers, but I made several comments that night to everyone about how in their house I can never hear people, so he was nice to me. He put his mouth up to my ear and growled things at me. He told me my pussy was tight, and I told him he felt big. He asked me if I liked him fucking me like that, like he was ripping me open. I don't recall how I responded to that, but I should have cum right fucking then, because he was so fucking hot.

Seriously, there has got to be something wrong with me that I can be so damned aroused, get the fucking of my life, and a growling man in my ear, and I just can't make it happen.

We stayed at a hotel that night. It was kind of nice, and they had a buffet breakfast for free. And then K called and asked me to stay the day with her, offering to put me on a train that night. Eric agreed. He even gave me permission to fuck J. I love the way they look when he wraps his arms around her. So I helped her seduce him into giving her a quickie. :D It was hot.

We spent most of the day with her kids, as J was golfing and then working. I never did get to fuck her with my strap-on. And for some reason, when J got home, dinner not being made for him was more important than getting busy with the 2 fine honeys in his house. WHATever. There is just no explaining the man. So I just don't try anymore.

I admit to thinking there is more there than he says when he looks at me, but since he'll never say it out loud, I've given up trying to figure out what it is. And I'm doing a pretty good job not caring. We had a really good fucking session. Everyone had a wonderful time. I got to spend an extra day with my girl and her adorable kids.

And this blissful weekend was destroyed in an instant by J showing off just how important it is for K to have an exit strategy. Their son couldn't figure out his seatbelt, and between me trying to help him and J and K telling him what to do, he was confused. And J's hand shot out, grabbed the boy by the coat, shoved him in a sitting position, and commanded him to sit down before he took him out of the car for a beating.

I almost screamed. His arm almost went through me to get to his child. HIS child. His child that acts SO much like him, and looks exactly like him, and deserve to be treated better than HE was treated as a boy. Thank god I didn't scream. Because if I had, I would have totally lost it and who knows what the fuck would have happened then.

I helped him get his seatbelt on, and away we went to the train station. Utter silence from the backseat trio of M and boys. J making light banter with K like nothing had happened.

And at the station, his son crossed the distance to sit on the bench next to J. He put his little hand on his daddy's thigh and smiled, wanting acceptance. Because it had been all his fault. All of it, a little boy's fault that a Daddy had been in such a rage.

I asked K how the fuck more relaxed could he get after so much sex? How could he possibly be *that* upset about not getting dinner upon his arrival home that he could fly off the handle so quickly with his own kid? She reiterated the need for the exit strategy.

The only emotions I have for J now are pity and sadness. He could have been such a good man. Could have learned what NOT to do by his mother and her bastard husbands. Could have had a wonderful marriage and 2 beautiful kids and all the sex on the side he could handle. Instead, he rips any peace to be had in an instant. And wonders why people aren't fond of him.

K told me today that he is weird around me because he is still hung up on what happened last year. And I'm like, "Last year?? Huh?" I told her I thought I had more feeligns for J than I should. Feelings. That's it. And a tendency to fall for the wrong man too quickly. I never said love, I never said any of this to J, and I never gave him any reason to think I was going to fuck with him, his marriage, or my marriage. But K let him know I had "feelings", and he just hasn't been the same around me since.

If only he knew what feelings I had for him now. That I don't love him, I didn't love him, and I never could love him. Because he is just like my father. If only he knew that I could weep for the mess he is making of his life. He is throwing away his own happiness, and he doesn't even realize it. One day, he will be alone. Who knows, maybe that's what he really wants and he'll be happier that way. With J, there's just no telling. I doubt he's even honest to himself about his own feelings.