K,E is still sick, so he snores constantly at night. Neither of us slept well because of it. I can't believe he's still sick. I'm worried about him, but he refuses to go to a doctor.
In the light of day, after some time to distance myself from the fight and gain some perspective, I realize that this ceased being about the blog a long time ago and I should have just shut up and taken some time to think before now. What I wish most I could change is that I had taken a break earlier and TOLD you I was going to do so. It was incredibly callous of me to just be silent for so long. I'm so very sorry.
Right now, there are only 3 things that I know for sure I have to tell you.
1) I don't have a problem with you being honest. I want you to be honest. I have a problem with the *way* you say things sometimes.
2) I never, ever felt I was playing games with you. This is my life and your life and our relationship and those things are sacred to me. I'm sorry this felt like I was toying with you. This is all very serious to me.
3) I love you.
While I was in bed last night, I came to the conclusion that I don't think we're going to resolve this without talking about it outside of email. Preferrably face to face. I would like it if you would reconsider me coming up today.
Re-reading your blog this morning, I don't know if you want me in your life anymore, let alone coming to visit today. Plus you mentioned something about J having plans, but not if they affected your day. But I would very much like to deliver your family's presents in person, to see your boys again and give them big hugs, and to talk with you in person to see if we can/want to salvage our relationship.
I will give you a call after brunch to see what you think.
M